Girlwatching: 11 more veg women

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By clamag

Hi, I'm Clara. I'm interested on music, expecially the independent music scene. This is a notebook about my experiences, love relationships, sex and sexuality. Enjoy the reading!

Sir Charles Darwin
Sir Charles Darwin

A comprehensive guide about women for men only

Yesterday I've caught the son of mom and dad, technically speaking my brother, and the band of mullets which he drags along with him making GIRLWATCH. Usually his only neuron is a stranger on a strange land, but that got me by surprise because Girlwatching meant a stern attempt to put an order to hard stuff: classifying women. That bunch of stupid microbrained were doing the same work that was of Carl Linnaeus and Charles Darwin.

Zut! Don't say it. I was mistaken. It didn't take me a long time to understand that they had a skimpy tassonomy of four classes only: "Science-Fiction-Female 1", "Science-Fiction-Female 2", 3 and 4 and a category "Ugly" where they were placing anybody hasn't got lips big like an inflatable dinghy, big boobs, big butt and a strip for skirt, in a word the kind of girl that my friend Mabel calls Flower-woman. My brother's Girlwatching has nothing to do with the studies of the two scientists.

Sicker than sickness, I left those insects with an idea stuck on my mind: I would have turned everything all right again.

_______________________

11 Veg Women

Hey, Men. Wake up! Flower-Women sooner or later wither and stink. Instead Vegs Women, maybe are not all that nice, but being fully flavoured, are more satisfying for the palate. Recognize, find and don't let them go away. I'll teach you how.

  1. Celery: Tall and lean. Complexion: Snow White on Summer, Alien Green on Winter. Celery woman is recognizable by a showy jewellery and 10 oz. rings. How to cook: wisely minced is a powerful aphrodisiac.
  2. Onion: Pale Yellow, definitely out-sized, Onion-woman, rarely has a waistline. She weeps often and that's why many could hardly digest her. If you are in a hurry don't ask her a strip tease: she wears in layers. Nevertheless, if loved Onion-woman is tender and sweet.
  3. Artichoke: Short hair, energetic and aggressive artichoke-woman hasn't got many fancies: gray skirts, white shirt and short heels. Quite bitter when raw she needs to a man not fearing to get punctured and able to slowly cook her by the passion fire. When undressed this kind of woman gets flavoured and tender and soft like butter.
  4. Potato: A bit foul, the potato-woman gets easily wounded. If in love she blindly resigns and let herself be fried, baked or, worst than all, smashed.
  5. Fennel: A good mother, this Fennel woman is always pregnant. You got to be patient if you want get to her heart. She's Never hot, so don't ask acrobatic sex, yet she's an healthy lover and clean fast your arteries.
  6. Radish: Short, speedy brain, radish woman is disenchanted about love. But she is also practical, keen and funny. Men think that she is fragile and defenseless, big mistake, never try to bite her: try it once and you'll never do it again.

Let's exercise with this: 100 Girls

7. Carrot: Tanned and heavily tanning, carrot woman needs a father that lovely cleans her from all the life rubbish. She prefers stay at home so much life has minced her heart. Cook her with the tenderness of butter, the power of fire and cover with a lid not to get her too dried.

8. Zucchini: the zucchini woman has grown up rather crooked. Bad companies have never be good for kids. A flower at start, has been shaken and stuffed all life on. Still she is tender even if fundamentally void and tasteless. And because of that vanity she is forced to sink in a dense like batter love.

9. Tomato: juicy and tasty, the tomato woman is pure ketchup: sweet and salty at the same time. Soft like a pillow. Any season is good: Summer: at her best, Autumn: soup, Winter: sun dried with olive oil and Spring: together her best friend the salad woman.

10. Pepper: there are different kind of that, what I mean is the biggest. Everything is big on her. Great butt, boobs, feet, hands and heart, so that big that it's difficult to get rid of her. She always get back: stubborn and meddlesome. Only men with a big stomach can stand this kind of woman.

11. Salad: frivolous and quite superficial, you fall in love with her at once. My friend Josephine is a salad woman. (In Indie Playlist, one of my hub pages, I have already talked to you about one of her incursion on the wrong side of love: she was then exploring the fetish one). Yes, the salad woman is extremely open minded. The salad woman is nice, fickle, easygoing, and wilful; don't trust her she is unfaithful. Naturally Crisp and shitty (read fibrous), put a bit of heat and soon she becomes tender and lovely. Truly she is the best lover for you.

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